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On living inside out

February 24, 2019

 

I went to see a psychic last year. I guess I wanted a second opinion on life. Tanya and I met as I was trying on sunglasses at TJ Maxx and we got to chatting. Eventually, she revealed she was a psychic healer and said my energy field was bursting with jealousy and I needed to come soon, and not to wait. Soonish, and seventy dollars later, in a heated room hotter than a yoga studio, she said it:  everything was fine, except I had a love block.

 

What the f is a love block? I wondered. Spiritual cleansing courtesy of my psychic would come with a price. Also, I wasn't convinced she was completely invested in my healing after she paused during our session to place a Taco Bell order. I felt I needed intervention of some kind though—a therapist, maybe. Tanya said therapy was unnecessary; I needed something else, and for $320 I could begin to find out what that was, and it would change my life. I told her I'd think about it.

 

Online resources about love blocks pointed to a closed heart chakra, but I wasn’t 100% convinced about that either, so I sought out a therapist anyway. He agreed a love block had a deeper meaning, though my research wasn't entirely off and exercises to open up my heart chakra wouldn't hurt. Eventually, we settled upon a more likely culprit: trauma. The ultimate block for everything.

 

White Rain

 

Caution: Slippery When Wet;

but, Beautiful When Dry, you see.

 

Wait for it. Just when you think enough,

the same day you almost don't get out of bed—

 

winds subside.

What appears next can only be described

 

as the stuff of legend.

 

 

The beauty of my revelation led me to start facing (instead of turning away from) trauma I didn't even realize I had been carrying around so intensely. I'd basically been ghosting my own inner child for years, whose been crying out for attention, and at this point I'm the only one qualified enough to give it to her! By ignoring my rooted problems, buried in my subconscious, or even unconscious, I have been inviting more trauma instead of keeping it out.

 

Little by little, I've embarked upon an inside journey—past my skin and bones, down to my core (my soul)— to identify, meet, and release my trauma, while forgiving myself in the process. I've essentially started opening myself up to the powers within me, which simultaneously connect me to a power greater than me! This power, I trust, will start to work with me, through me, and for me; instead of me having to witness my life happening to me from the nosebleeds.  I've already begun to experience miracles, peace is re-entering my life, and I'm starting to feel better. And no wonder! I’m unblocking myself from myself.

 

Feeling fed up, too? Take the x-ray. Start living inside out. Below are several resources that have helped me on my journey to Who I Am, which you may also find helpful.

 

Health:

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

 

Relationships:

Narcissism and Relationships Blog by Melanie Tonia Evans

 

Psychology:

Counseling and Psychotherapy by Les Parrott III
(Sections about various psychologists, their theories & backgrounds helped shape my views and understandings of approaches to therapy.)

 

Work:

Who Moved My Cheese 

(I enjoyed the audiobook version.)

 

 

In 2010, a Japanese-based visual technology company, EIZO, which manufactures imaging equipment, produced its own version of a pin-up calendar to promote its products among medical professionals. Direct advertising came from Butter, an ad agency based in Germany. (Read more here.) The featured x-ray image was sourced from Bytes in a blog post titled 'X Ray Art,' published Aug. 14, 2013. 

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