- Caroline Wright
On playing the part
Updated: Oct 2, 2021
Scene I. Modern-day. Early evening.
[A newly single woman walks back into her own bedroom, appearing to be getting ready for a first date. She had been in a relationship for over nine years.]
I've got this, she says to herself while straightening her hair. I've done this all before. How hard could it be now?
[Times change. New dating nuances and techniques develop. Certain forms of etiquette and chivalry dry up.]
Scene II. Later that same dark and stormy night.
[Same woman, post-date.]
Lying in bed, she reaches for her cell phone from her nightstand, googles "How to tell if a guy likes you".
The Shattering of Advice
After being told to buck up,
that less emotion is actually more,
I have yet to find evidence of
something less being more,
besides: perfume, make-up,
salt, booze, caffeine...
oh, I get it.
Secretly, I like it:
feeling more alive today than yesterday,
being more open now than I was back then.
It's hard for me, all those extra antlers.
Thanks, I say. I'd prefer to feel it all, even if it breaks my heart.
My next heart will not be made of glass.
Relationship advice available to both men and women out there is plentiful. Perhaps overwhelming. Even contradictory at times.
Here are five examples:
1. Be yourself, but be careful what you say on a first date. And second. Maybe even third.
2. Let the guy come to you, but sometimes you have to make the first move.
3. Limit your level of intimacy on a case-by-case scenario.
4. People wait to call or text to test you, unless you're reason enough to break the 3-day rule.
5. Don't give 100%. Leave room for your relationship to blossom into the metaphorical flower that is is.
In a book called "Discovering Your Soul Signature", author Panache Desai reflects on a time when his father said to him, "I have ever only played the role you asked me to play for you." This may hold true for the rest of us, too, that each day we actively choose the parts of others in our own theatrical life.
Here are some of the most common characters we assign:
Realistically, we'd allow and accept the true expression of others:
Some might consider reality a boring performance. I consider it to be the best, most raw, fun form of entertainment: Improv.
Here are some relationship FAQs that are fairly grounded in reality:
Q: Don't want to continue being labeled as too nice?
A: If you're not acting like yourself, start now. If you find you are being yourself, find someone nicer.
Q: Don't care for one-night stands?
A: Stop pretending they're for you.
Q: Have a tendency to fall for the same type of person?
A: Become aware of your own patterns and break them.
Q: See that you're becoming someone you're not?
A: Notice who your friends are.
Artist jetpacklove created the featured piece specially for the poem, "Shattering of Advice".
In his own words, "Everything you've done started as a thought."
With that thought, check out all he's done: